Degrees of greenness

I brought my reusable bag to the Hyde Park Kroger and felt like the biggest douche in the world carrying it inside. I kept silently chanting, "I'm carrying a tote, I'm carrying a tote" in my head.

Walking by all the striped-shirt-designer-jean-wearing, "I see a dermatologist for my complexion" type dudes carrying a couple of totes under one arm, holding a hand of their bleached blonde, fully made-up anorexic girlfriends. Not sure what they were more proud of.

Maybe if I get a big enough purse I can hide it until I use it.

Morale?

The hallway walls by my office are filled with giant close-up photographs of some of the most beautiful people in the world. Smiling, cuddling... women snuggling little diapered babies, couples nuzzling, friends hugging... and every time I walk by I have to stare. I remind myself that these people are models and that they are faking it. But they are just so damn beautiful and they look so damn good that they actually make me feel happier when I walk by.

I'm not sure why they're there.

Absentee ballot.

I got paid today for the first time since I graduated in December. I paid more in taxes this month than my monthly Research Assistant salary.

It was almost enough to convince a woman to vote Republican. But not quite.

Mythbusters

We've all wondered, hoped, wished...

But the truth is, if you get broadband internet installed in your home, cable TV does not automatically come through the outlet unless you pay more.


I have heard, though, that if you subscribe to cable and internet first, then you call to cancel only cable you'll still get it. You just have to return the box.

The "C" Word

In Dublin, Mom and I rode the LUAS Red Line a few times to "save ourselves some walking" but really we rode for the experience of it all. The third trip or so, we actually sat down, in two facing seats and she started telling me about when she was in the doctor's office recently for a physical and was asked whether she'd want to "do something" about her smile lines and crow's feet. She was appalled. "I earned those. Those lines are a part of who I am, from smiling and laughing for over 60 years." She talked to me about looking in the mirror and seeing the lines in her face, and not really remembering a time when she didn't have them.

I dialed Mom's cell phone after work Friday because I wanted to ask her the best way to get rid of ants. She didn't answer, but called me back a few minutes later when I was trying to nap on the couch before the BF arrived for the weekend.

I tried to keep the conversation short because I needed to clean up and straighten up and get to the grocery so I'd actually have something to eat for dinner. I was about to say bye, and she said, "I have something I want to tell you, okay?" and her voice got that tone in it, that extremely uncomfortable tone she always gets when she tells us very terrible news, or warns us of something frightening that is about to happen. I knew it was going to be something "medical" about one of us.

"I'm going to have some surgery done next month. I don't think it's a big deal..." And she went on, telling me the details and the medical terms, all of which I've already forgotten, because I wasn't listening in the first place, because all that I heard was that Mom has skin cancer. In the office they asked her to smile so they could take note of where to put the stitches in order to mimic her natural smile lines, and she's thankful that it's on the left side of her face because, she joked, if it were on the right side, she'd lose her dimple. "It's a good thing I'm not vain."

She almost had me convinced that it would be a simple, minor procedure. But at the end she told me, "It's only about the size of a dime."

I have lived here eleven days.

I got home from work today around 5:45pm, parked, picked up the box of flowers delivered to my doorstep, dropped my bags, changed my shoes, checked directions on Mapquest and went back out to my car to find the post office so that I can get stamps to send a letter to Adaline. In the 5 or so minutes I was inside, my across-the-street neighbor had stuck a note under my windshield wiper:

"Hello, Neighbor!

Please don't take any offense, but it is much easier for every-one if we only take one of the parking spaces in front of my home.

Thanks a lot,

Tim (scribble scribble I'm important)"

I wish I could post a photograph of my residential street. There are driveways, and there are spaces to park on the street. The street parking is never remotely close to being full. Today, due to my "negligence," "Tim" was "forced" to park approximately 10 feet away from his "home." That he "rents." I guess if you suck in and hold your breath, two cars can squeeze between those two driveways. The tail end of my car blocked his usual parking spot. And the overprivileged snot had to walk 10 extra feet to go home, and then felt the need to walk another 10 feet to put his note on my windshield.

I wanted to leave a note on his car saying, "Please feel free to park in front of my home anytime you need to. Because the street belongs to all of us and I don't mind walking a few extra steps to my front door."

Also, "everybody" is not hyphenated.