"I'll try to find ya some and I'll bring 'em to ya!"

George W. Bush's Address of the Economy

Otherwise known as, HOLY SHIT NOSE WHISTLE


So George, you mean to tell me that people recently took out loans they couldn't afford to repay? Fascinating. Also, get off my TV you nose-whistling idiot moron.

TMI (...not Three Mile Island)

The Woman in my office welcomed me back from my day and a half in NYC and after I told her how everything went, she filled me in on how she was doing and how she's been having a rough couple of days herself, how her kids have been acting up, etc. How it was especially trying for her because, she muttered under her breath, "It's that time of the month."

You can imagine how it is to be in my line of work... actually maybe you can't. We're all fucking ragging at the same time. Indeed, she no longer finished the phrase "time of the month" that a dull ache sunk into my abdomen and I compiled a mental inventory of the date, what products I had at home, and what products I'd seen in the Women's room the last time it'd been stocked.

Sure enough.

Damn it.

Sad Monday

I was at Oktoberfest in a crowd of thousands of Kentucky rednecks listening to a coverband play Mellencamp when P called to tell me that Grampa died. She didn't have to say it -- all she said was, "Frances called with bad news tonight." I took it as fact, put it in the back of my mind, and called Mom when I got home to figure out what I should do and when.

Spent the rest of the weekend on the phone and on Mapquest finding plane fares. Emailed my manager to ask if I could take off a few days for travel, woke up this morning and got ready for work as usual, plopped in my office, started my computer, etc. When H came in she asked, "Have a good weekend?" I said, "Yes, but... my... grandfather died." And I broke into tears. I don't know why. I guess it was the first time I said it out loud, and it is just so strange how saying something out loud is what makes it real. She was all, "Sweetheart, go home! What are you doing here? That's your family! Go home!" and she went to the admin's office to bring her in so they could tell me in unison to go home. I was a wreck, clearly unable to think/function, so I went home. I bought my ticket, finalized everything, and then realized I had nothing else to do so I went back to work. It was a parade of people coming in to tell me how sorry they were, and although I really appreciate it, hearing those apologies over and over made me feel worse.

I think they all wanted me to leave because my presence made them uncomfortable. Can we talk to her about it? Should we talk to her at all? Should we ask questions? Does she want to be left alone? But most of all, it all made them remember when their own grandparents died. Coworker after coworker were telling me stories of when their grandparents died and where they had to travel and how they had to become an emotional support for their own parents - maybe for the first times in their lives.

Another thing to mention about today is that I work with wonderful people. I am so happy to work for a company full of caring, loving people.

Don't bother calling me...

My cell phone was stolen tonight.

I sent a text message from inside my car on the way home from work (STOPPED AT A TRAIN TRACK, MIND YOU) and then popped into the store to grab a few things before going home. I brought my phone inside with me (since the last thing I texted was "Call me!"), and set it down on the counter to pay. It was crowded as hell in there, and I was NOT in the upstanding neighborhood where I live. Walked out to my car, drove part way home, and realized I left my phone there. So I turned around and drove back. It was gone. It was on vibrate, to make matters worse.

They took me into the manager's office to watch the past few minutes of surveillance footage, and we saw me walking up to the cashier, then some fat black woman blocked the view of what happened - me setting the phone down and someone picking it up. IT WAS CROWDED.

The manager wanted a number where I could be reached in case they find it. Well, can't help ya out there!

Mostly I'm upset about the pictures.

You know, maybe there is some lesson I still have to learn. My photo card died during our trip to Belize and I was distraught. It happened again! Photos I wanted to keep forever and ever are no longer mine. What is God trying to teach me and why am I being so stubborn?!

It woke me up to realize how much I loved that phone. And everything on it. I learned, God! Now give me my phone back, please.

But the other thing that's difficult is that I'm living alone and it was my outlet to humankind. I scream tonight and no one hears me. I want to talk to my sisters and I can't.

I would've been eligible for an upgrade anyway (since my phone is 2+ years old) but I saw online that I am late on my first ever payment by 3 days. So I think I lost my eligibility.

Life fucking sucks.

What I truly think of Sarah Palin

She's got to lose those glasses. They're ugly as sin.

Also, who named those kids?

One Giant Leap for Bean-Kind

Guess what I did just now! I grilled! By myself! No one was even watching!

Okay so I went out there with meat, and I opened the propane tank and I lit it myself! And I put the meat on, and I watched it and poked it, and when it was done, I turned off the grill!

I am alive and unburned! No one even watched me to make sure I didn't mess it up!