When I think hard, I get hot. And I sweat a lot. And when I work, I am thinking a lot and therefore sweating a lot. So I wear sleeveless shirts at work. Not all women wears sleeveless shirts at work, and I realize I'm pushing the limits of our dress code ("Business Appropriate") but I do wear nice pants, dress shoes and earrings and makeup and everything. So I feel quite appropriate with my appearance every morning when I walk out the door.
I have a mock turtle sleeveless red polka-dot top that I absolutely adore. I've been complimented on this shirt several times. I actually bought a red polka-dot bra to wear with the shirt (same shades of red and white, same sized polka dots, even!), to be conservative so that if anyone ever got an accidental peep into my shirt hole, they wouldn't be able to differentiate between shirt and bra.
I work with a dirty old man. This dirty white-haired 47-year-old man is on his second wife, having dated a 21-year-old coworker between marriages. He has offended me several times by what he's said and where he's looked in the 4 months I've worked at this job.
Said man and I were participating with several other coworkers in a fun, building-wide event. I was wearing my festive red polka-dot top. We were all standing in a crowd in the lobby, waiting for winning raffle numbers to be chosen, when he touched my bare shoulder and whispered in my ear, "Your bra matches your shirt nicely." I paused, and said, "Don't look at my bra." Then I turned and walked away. I didn't wait to hear who'd won the raffle.
He didn't speak to me the rest of that day and called in sick for the past two days. I think I've gotten my point across -- the point being that I don't want him looking at my boobs.
I don't know if I should tell HR.
If a female coworker would've approached me in the bathroom and said the same exact thing to me, I would've thanked her. But seriously, why the hell do older men think that compliments about a boob-holders are even marginally appropriate?
2 comments:
Oh, honey, that's a clear case of sexual harassment. You do need to report to that to HR. You can always do it anonymously and I'm sure this man has said much, much worse to other women.
Stand strong, my proud Neal Woman!
Having been through some global relations training, there is something important you should know if you go to HR. It is not possible to keep it anonymous. This is because of the laws, etc. and to prevent lawsuits. We went through a big 3 day training (with videos!) where they told us that under no circumstances would sexual harassment or discrimination of any kind be allowed and if it was reported, it would be dealt with harshly.
That being said, you should definitely go to HR. You handled the situation appropriately, but that man had no right to say that to you and better yet, he knows he "misbehaved."
Whether they are tenured Organic Chemistry professors or coworkers at your job, they need to be told that their archaic behavior is disgusting and illegal.
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