I need to find myself a wife.

You know? Someone to pick out my clothes for the morning and feed me and clean up after me.

Wait a second... Maybe what I'm actually looking for is a stay-at-home-mom.

I realized that I spend half of my life at work. Yes, this includes my 30-minute round-trip commute and the 45 minutes I spend at the site gym after work. But still. 7:45am until 7:45pm and it will only get more depressing when it starts getting darker later and earlier.

I have a few precious hours to myself every evening, and for the past two evenings the time's been eaten up being on hold with Time Warner for screwing with my internet service.

I'm trying to figure out how my current situation feels different than when I was in grad school. I was working the same hours in grad school - I totally was! But I guess I didn't feel guilty about shopping online whilst taking mindless data, or making a personal phone call here or there. I could run to the bank over lunch, or schedule a Health Center visit during the day and just walk there and walk back to the lab. Plus, the MF was cooking dinner for me all the time.

One of the (several hundred) new hires sent out a new-hire-wide email on the server advertising that her 20-year-old kid sister was finished with college coursework for the summer and had come to live with her until August. She is willing to provide babysitting/housesitting services to any coworkers until then. I was tempted to reply. "Please, dear college student, be my personal nanny. Cook dinner for me and iron my school clothes... Please? I will pay you... a lot..."

On a somewhat satisfying note, I went to do some online banking this evening and noticed I got paid today. And I was all, "I'm rich, bitch!"